Stock Photo Hell

business-woman-holding-crossed-fingers-behind-back-oath-truth-rear-view-32808893Circle Nine: Betrayal

Betrayers of Country

[…] I saw two souls frozen
In the same hole, they were so close,
The head of one covered the other’s like a hood.

The way hunger makes you bite into a loaf of bread
The top one had his teeth sunk in the other’s neck,
Where the brain becomes the cord.”

-Canto XXXII, Mary Jo Bang translation

 

This canto could be summarized as “the section in which Dante is a huge asshole.” Really, since he got down onto the lake-of-frozen-tears-of-Satan, he’s been generally entitled, mean, and sort of power hungry, if learning the tales of the dead can be considered the source of his power. In this canto he grabs a guy by the hair and is generally abusive because the guy is like “leave me alone, I don’t want to tell my story.” Keep in mind everyone here is frozen in ice, usually up to the neck. So it’s not like Dante’s, y’know, physically threatened by anything. He’s just being a bully. (The thought here is that he’s been corrupted by Hell, which he then has to work off in Purgatory before he can be reunited with Beatrice and ascend to Heaven.)

Anyway, betrayers of country. The poor soul Dante does manage to harass into telling him its story is a guy who was a double agent in the Ghibbline/Guelf feud, a.k.a. one of the hottest political conflicts in Dante’s day. The whole “betrayal of country/party/political affiliation” area is named Anternora, after Antenor of Troy who was in on that whole Trojan horse thing and did other naughty double-crossing type things as well.

 

Search terms: Political betrayal, betrayer of country, traitor, spy

“Political betrayal” was…predictable. Office drama as a substitute for politics. Lots of backstabbing, although some of it was at least done with the knife the right way round.

James looked up. "Stewart, what are you doing with that knife?"  "Nothing. Um. Cutting up this apple." "You're doing the 'squishing your head' thing except with backstabbing, aren't you." "...a bit..."

James looked up. “Stewart, what are you doing with that knife?”
“Nothing. Um. Cutting up this apple.”
“You’re doing the ‘squishing your head’ thing except with backstabbing, aren’t you.”
“…a bit…”

Anyway. The “traitor” and “spy” searches were way more interesting. “Traitor” brought up this little gem:

Lindsey turned her face away. The shame! They had finally discovered that her binder was completely empty.

Lindsey turned her face away. The shame! They had finally discovered that her binder was completely empty.

Have I not talked about the women with empty binders thing? It’s totally a thing. In the part of Stock Photo Land that deals with business women, there have been enough photoshoots involving women with empty binders that they come up in many, many searches. There are women with full binders too, out there, never mind the whole “ring binders are not as relevant as they used to be, Mitt Romney,” aspect of the binder photos, but seriously. Keep your eye out for women with empty binders. They come up all too frequently.

Um. Yep.

Um. Yep.

But not to stray too far from our topic, let’s finish up with spies. Stock Photo Land spies are a sight to be had. One of their hallmarks is bewildering incompetence. Thus:

 

"American Spy" is apparently attending frat parties for intel, all while WEARING THE FLAG OF THE COUNTRY HE IS SPYING FOR ON HIS ARM. Not the sneakiest.

“American Spy” is apparently attending frat parties for intel, all while WEARING THE FLAG OF THE COUNTRY HE IS SPYING FOR ON HIS ARM. Not the sneakiest.

This "Arabian spy" ("arabian" being an EXTREMELY DUBIOUS label in Stock Photo Land to begin with) is under the misapprehension that he can brace both guns with each other at the same time and still have any kind of accuracy.

This “Arabian spy” (“arabian” being an EXTREMELY DUBIOUS label in Stock Photo Land to begin with) is under the misapprehension that he can brace both guns with each other at the same time and still have any kind of accuracy.

However, this spy is even worse at dual-wielding...the MP5ish gun will do poorly unless she's using both hands to fire it.

However, this spy is even worse at dual-wielding…the MP5ish gun will do poorly unless she’s using both hands to fire it.

Also, in terms of actual sneakiness, one could be a vastly less obvious spy if one did not parade around in a sexy outfit with nicely coiffed hair and a gun. I know, I know, James Bond and all the femme fatales would have it otherwise, but seriously. A boring temp with a gun taped inside her empty binder would be the best spy in Stock Photo Land.

Also, in terms of actual sneakiness, one could be a vastly less obvious spy if one did not parade around in a sexy outfit with nicely coiffed hair and a gun. I know, I know, James Bond and all the femme fatales would have it otherwise, but seriously. A boring temp with a gun taped inside her empty binder would be the best spy in Stock Photo Land.

 

Next up: Betrayal of Guests!
Spoilers: It is actually suckier than being up to your neck in ice?!