Stock Photo Hell

"MAN LOOKING AT WOMANS BREASTS" [sic]  This just happened to be the "featured image" on Dreamstime when I went to pull the images for this post.

“MAN LOOKING AT WOMANS BREASTS” [sic]
This happened to be the “featured image” on the Dreamstime front page when I went to pull the images for this post.

Circle Two: Lust

“And as, in the cold season, starlings’ wings bear them along in broad and crowded ranks, so did the blast bear on the guilty spirits: now down, now up, now here, now there it drives them. There is no hope that ever comforts them, no hope for rest and none for lesser pain. ” (Canto 5)

In Dante’s vision, the Circle of Lust was a giant whirling tornado, where lovers could see each other, but never touch or hear each other. Dante hangs out with a famous adulteress, among others.

Search terms: lust, lustful woman, lusty woman. Dreamstime assures me that a related term to “lustful woman” is “fancy kitchen sinks.” I am not sure if this is supposed to be a metaphor or what.

The stock photo that best illustrates Dante’s circle I got in some completely unrelated search, though. Still, it’s got a businesswoman, sort of, so one of our Four Chambers of Stockphoto Women are represented:

“MAN AND WOMAN WITH MODERN GADGETS”

Get it? 'Cause they can see each other but not really hear each other or touch each other it's a metaphor let me explain it

Get it? ‘Cause they can see each other but not really hear each other or touch each other it’s a metaphor let me over-explain it asdfasdfasdf

 

Runner-up for being on theme: “MYSERIOUS WOMAN IN FETISH MASK SEDUCING MAN”

mysterious-woman-fetish-mask-seducing-man-16631014

She’s seducing him with cunning use of laying completely motionless.

Runner-up for representing the Four Chambers of Stock Photo Women, because all the sites had a bunch of pictures of women eating fruit (I blame Eve):

 

SO MUCH LUST FOR THIS JUICE RIGHT NOW YOU GUYZE

SO MUCH LUST FOR THIS JUICE RIGHT NOW YOU GUYZE

Runner-up for Oh My God The Racism Why: “A man holding on to his woman with lust on her face.”

 

whyyyyy

no really, whyyyyy

I can’t even. Another photo from the same shoot refers to her as an “American Indian woman.” *pause while my eye twitches* It’s like they’re trying to be politically correct or something. One wonders, at that point, why.

 

Other notable results:

“Lusty woman” involved a lot of pictures of an active and enthusiastic senior lady who had a lust for life, doing things like gardening, crossword puzzles, and having a young person explain her some modern technology.

However, “lustful woman” produced all kinds of gems: “SENSUAL SEXY JAPANESE WOMAN STRIPPER UNDRESSING,” “INTERRACIAL COUPLE PLAYING SEX GAMES ON BED,” “SEDUCTIVE WOMAN TAKING YOU BY THE TIE,” (You know, in case you needed any doubt that the male gaze was at play here) and just to really hammer in the theme, “SEXY WOMAN KNEELING.”

It's cool: she's a businesswoman.

It’s cool: she’s a businesswoman. A stripper businesswoman.

Dreamstime in particular seems to be more focused on photos of a variety of races of folks, not all of which are called out by race. “BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON BED” is black. However, there’s also “TOPLESS BLACK WOMAN WITH AMERICAN NATIONAL FLAG” and for some unthinkable reason “AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN BY BASKET OF DIRTY LAUNDRY.” Which totally has to do with the keywords “lustful woman” because…uh…er… white supremacist patriarchy?

 

Yeah,  I'm gonna go white supremacist patriarchy, because that's the only connection I can see.

Yeah, I’m gonna go white supremacist patriarchy, because that’s the only connection I can see.

I feel dirty now, and not because of the sexual content. Can I be excused to go scrub out my brain please?

 

Next up: Gluttony!

Spoilers: Stock photo women have a troubled relationship with food.