I am about to let you in on secret, sacred knowledge.
First, a disclaimer: I am not much of a consumer. I tend to be predictable and somewhat pretentious in how I spend my disposable income. Mostly I spend my extra money on exciting food. I come from a long lineage of foodies, and am willing to label myself as such with some degree of pride. I love food, particularly when it help me feel a connection to my community or the earth. I am lucky enough to have a garden AND a year-round farmer’s market that I can walk to.
Anyway, that being said, I have some secret-ish Seattle spots that I am going to make public. Some of them are even unrelated to food.
#1) Paseo
Paseo is a sandwich shop, but you might not know it because both locations are more or less a shack, a shack with no obvious signage and a line of people in front. It falls into that kind of restaurant that I love most: greasy, hole-in-the-wall, makes me feel all hip and exclusive because it’s not advertised anywhere, etc. It’s cash only and the most drop-dead-of-a-heart-attack delicious meal I can imagine. The sandwiches are a delicious blend of flavors and textures: spongy, crusty demi baguettes that house a medley of crispy romaine, cilantro, divine caramelized onions, garlic aioli, and your choice of delicious protein substance. I have many friends who swear by their pork. I do not feel particularly passionate about pigflesh. (I will rant about my poser vegetarianism later.) So, the pork is apparently rockin’ if you’re into that kind of thing; I can vouch that their fish, prawn, scallop, and tofu options are freakin’ awesome. They’re closed Sunday/Monday and all of January…just because they can. They’re that good.
#2) Vintage Closet
The Vintage Closet has the distinction of being one of the few places that I will go spend disposable income that’s not on food. It is at heart a boot shop, although they’ve got lovely hats and other fun leatherwear. It’s leather a obnoxiously socially conscious person can feel good about owning, too: all used, all bought by the owner from her Secret Source of Secrecy. The boutique is open Thursday through Sunday in the afternoons and only accepts cash. Apparently “cash only” is a theme in the awesomeness of hole-in-the-wall places in Seattle. They’re at the corner of 65th St NW and 3rd Ave NW, right across from New Roots Organics.
#3) Bernie Utz Hats
Bernie Utz is the real deal, an honest-to-God Haberdashery that would make Johnny Depp proud. You want your Stetson? They’ve got it. You want a towering creation that would make Vida Boheme swoon? They’ve got it. Are you a grizzled bald man who wears a long leather trenchcoat and a leather eyepatch, who’s nearly died five times and needs a Greek fisherman’s hat in leather to complete his outfit? You’re covered. (Yes, he really was in the store when I went there, telling stories about his near-death experiences.) In any case, Bernie Utz is a trip well worth taking.
#4) Theo Chocolate
If you live in Seattle, you’ve seen their bars at most grocery stores, and know that Theo Chocolate is divine, delicious, and more expensive than a root canal. However, if you are a cheap bastard like me, you can go to their storefront, step into a darkened room that smells like heaven on earth, and have free samples of all of their deliciousness. You can also go on a tour; I haven’t done it myself, but I hear it’s pretty cool. You can also buy single chocolates that are less wallet-burdening and yet ever-so-satisfying, and a white chocolate orange lotion that will make you eat your own arm off. So, if you’ve been staring forlornly at the $3.75 chocolate bars in the QFC, look no further than the storefront at 4300 Phinney.
#5) 5 Spot Late Night Date
I image many of my local readers know about the 5 Spot already, but I feel the need to detail the Anne Bean and Mikeatron brand 5 Spot Late Night Date. The 5 Spot sit on top of Queen Anne Hill and boasts a unique and delicious “regional American Cuisine”. This translates to a main menu that stays the same with a few key dishes that rotate quarterly in accordance with the restaurant’s theme region. Some of the regions I’ve tasted include Oregon, North Beach San Francisco, Puerto Rico, the Florida Keys, and the Mississippi River Delta. It’s not just a few dishes that embody the theme; the entire restaurant is decked out in region-specific paintings, sculpture, and bathroom decor. It’s one of my favorite restaurants for breakfast or brunch, albeit a bit spendy for my tastes. However, after 10PM there is a fabulous menu of $5 “little dishes,” a bit bigger than an appetizer but smaller than a meal, which are delicious and satisfying. There are also lovely desserts and $1 PBR, so among all of that you can spend $20 for a thoroughly satisfying date for two. Afterwards, there’s a lovely walk down to Kerry Park, where you can get a picture postcard view of Seattle. Seriously. Had I not already found Mikeatron, this would make a killer first date. That’s why he and I repeat it so often, I suppose. 
#6) The Knee High Stocking Company
The Knee High Stocking Company is an honest-to-god speakeasy. From the outside, it appears to be one of those mysterious little triangular buildings on the asymmetrical blocks of Capitol Hill. It has no sign, merely inch-high stickers spelling out its name by a doorbell. The windows are blocked with opaque brown cloth. In order to actually drink there, you must text in your reservation (although their number does not appear in their ad in The Stranger, nor does anything except a photo of the entrance). You then ring the doorbell, where someone in 1930s garb will answer the door and ask, “May I help you?” You then announce your reservation and are seated, plunged into a booze-soaked session of wit and banter. There are also about seven varieties of absinthe. Truly, visiting the Knee High Stocking Company is an experience.
That’s all I’ve got for the moment. Should you feel the need to confess your secret local loves, please, let us in on the scoop.